A comedy guide to cruising

Cruising is booming and it has been for quite a few years but does this make it even more difficult to pick the right cruise, well help is at hand in our comedy guide to cruising

Cruising, what does the possibly stereotypical view of cruising show in the mind of a non-cruiser? It can sometimes shows OAP’s galore with lights out by 10pm, it shows a drab dreary old tired ship dotting around from port to port where endless lines of bus style taxi’s await their geriatric passengers arrival. I have also encountered a lot of people who insist they will be bored on a cruise ship. But is that really what cruising is like? In one simple word no.

Cruising is not for “old” people. Cruising is for anyone and everyone. Cruising is for explorers, families, couples, adventurers, those seeking to see the world from a different point of view and yes OK the elderly of our time do like the relaxation of a Cruise but they don’t own it. Initially Cruising was reserved for those who had a few shiny new pennies in their pockets, but it has today evolved into a giant community with so many ships to choose from and itinerary’s to pick that it literally makes you want to burst just trying to decide what will work best for you. So with that in mind I wanted to put together something that may help you on your journey to finally discovering your first cruise and maybe for you avid cruisers out there it might be something you can read and laugh at. I hope

How about family fun? so you have a brood of hyper active youngsters who are constantly climbing the walls and tearing down the curtains then aim towards the likes of Carnival Cruise Line, Disney Cruise Line, and Royal Caribbean International. Although more or less every liner out there today has a wide range of children’s facilities these ships really are family aimed and focused. There is a never ending array of fun to be had and I am more than sure even 2 weeks would not be enough time to conquer everything that they have on offer. Disney ships have mini water parks, huge outdoor TV screens showing Disney movies around the clock, they even have their very own unique Ships Whistle, yes ladies and gentleman the Disney horn is “when you wish upon a star” which is sure to light up the face of your adoring little sweetheart.

These Cruise lines also cater for the teenager in your life, you know that being who occasionally appears late in the afternoon only to forage for food and return back to their hole. Yes this person is probably your child and probably a teenager and these companies actually cater for them! There are clubs for all ages usually up to 17 years old but even older teenagers have plenty on offer. For e.g. Royal Caribbean’s amazing Flow Rider is something I’m sure every hormone fuelled adolescent will have to try just so they can say they did it

Maybe you are looking for something where should you choose too there are activities on offer but there are also many area’s on deck to just relax with a cocktail and watch the world sail by, if this is you then may I suggest P&O Cruises, MSC Cruises and Costa Cruises.

Again these Lines cater for everyone, P&O Cruises has a fleet of ships that are categorized so if you have an army of little ones you desperately need putting in a kids club for as long as the law will allow then try Ventura or Azura. Maybe you are seeking something slightly less traumatic and chaotic with no children aboard then why not try Oriana or Arcadia?

If sheer 5 star luxury and the chance to feel like you may have just stepped back in time is for you then there is only one choice and that is Cunard.

Cunard have the youngest fleet of ships in the world. If you want luxury like that you would have experienced in the days of first class with White Star Line then there really is no compromise. Cunard is the epitome of class and distinction, where more or less every evening is formal attire. This means no football shirts or flip flops at meal time’s folks.

Overall there are a million different ways to see the world and cruising is just one of them. It is an experience that once had will never leave your mind.