LET US ENTERTAIN YOU- WHAT'S ON A CRUISE SHIP AT NIGHT?

Well, that mainly depends what sort of cruise ship you're on. If you're on a small exploration ship, for instance, where fine tuning the cereberal is more important than tinkling the ivcries, you're certainly not going to find a raft of toe tapping Broadway and Vegas style spectaculars. The very ethos of these ships tend to be pretty much low key, with the emphasis firmly on the ports of call being visited.

For the sake of argument, let's assume that you happen to be on one of the big, boisterous floating resorts that spend their summers in the Mediterranean, and their winters carousing around the sun splashed paradises of the Caribbean. In terms of enterainment here, then the world truly is pretty much your oyster.

You can take huge, Vegas style shows for granted. These are vast, fur and feather boa spectaculars held in a stunning, multi story show lounge that are designed to dazzle and overwhelm the audience. Some of them can feature a cast of up to thirty singers and dancers at a time, plus stage sets and lighting that would not look out of place on Broadway. The standards of energy and entertainment in these shows is usually very high indeed.

There will also usually be a large, rollicking casino that will keep going until the early morning hours. A conga line of bars and lounges will feature a whole raft of differing musical styles. From cool jazz to country and western, and piano concertos to a pounding, late night disco, you'll find it all on one of these fun suffused seagoing resorts.

But things have evolved even beyond that now. Themed, on deck parties such as 'White Nights' have proved to be enormously popular. Royal Caribbean has upped the ante even further in typically lavish style, and their bigger ships stage spectacular shows in the on board ice rink, as well as fantastic, themed parades along their expansive indoor promenades. It's kitschy, but ultmately irresistible.

If anything, the sheer excess of entertainment on these ships can be quite overwhelming. Today's big cruise ships, with their late night comedy clubs and round the clock rock and roll lifestyles, have evolved into veritable slices of Vegas afloat, with a full on vibe that stems from it.

But if all that seems too much, might I recommend a quiet nightcap on your balcony? Sit out under the stars, with maybe a side order of moonlight, and just feel that warm, peaceful ocean breeze. For my money, there's no better entertainment on any ship, anywhere.